Ah, the holidays—a time of joy, connection, and, let’s be real, chaos. Whether you’re all in for the Christmas carols or you’d rather fast-forward to January, one thing is certain: this season comes with its own unique cocktail of emotions.
And while you can’t control the whirlwind, you can navigate it with grace, humour, and a solid game plan. Here’s how to make it through the season with your sanity intact and maybe even some genuine joy along the way.
Prioritise real self-care
Self-care isn’t all bubble baths and scented candles (although those are lovely!). Real self-care means trusting yourself enough to do what’s best for you—even if it goes against expectations. It’s under-scheduling your time, leaving space for rest, spontaneity, or simply doing nothing and saying no without guilt even if you’re not “busy’. Struggling to say no? Try:
- "I’d love to, but I’ve got too much on my plate right now."
- "Thanks for the invite, but I’m taking some time for myself this season."
And let’s not forget: sometimes, the best reason to decline is simply, “I don’t feel like it.”Trust me, you owe no one an explanation.
Set boundaries (yes, even with family)
The holidays tend to bring out everyone’s inner boundary-pusher. Whether it’s a relative’s unsolicited advice or the pressure to attend every event, boundaries are your best friend.
- Be firm but kind. A simple “I can’t make it this year” is enough. No need to explain.
- Limit your time. If certain gatherings are non-negotiable but draining, give yourself an exit plan.
- Protect your energy.For some, family is the warm hug of home; for others, it’s a minefield of unresolved tensions, passive-aggressive comments, and, let’s face it, a lot of emotional baggage. If your family dynamic leans towards the toxic, give yourself permission to make alternative plans. You’re allowed to protect your mental health. Go to a friend’s house, take a holiday trip, or celebrate solo with your favourite traditions. And if you feel guilty about setting boundaries, consider it your cue to start therapy.—which, by the way, is one of the best gifts you can give yourself.
Less stress about gifts
Let’s be honest: the holidays have become a marketing circus. But you don’t need to drain your wallet—or your sanity—to show you care.
- Set a budget. And stick to it. Your bank account will thank you.
- Gift experiences, not things. A handwritten card, a homemade treat, or quality time together often means more than any item you can buy.
- Skip the pressure.Not everyone needs a gift. Sometimes, a heartfelt message or thoughtful gesture is enough.
- Share it: Playing Secret Santa between friends and groups is always a good idea. Everyone gets a gift but you only have to buy one. Even better is to set a budget and keep it symbolic (trust me I've received some of the most imaginative gifts that way.)
Gift giving should be joyful, not stressful.
Redefine Traditions
If old holiday traditions feel more like a chore than a joy, it’s time to rewrite the script.The beauty of this season is that you can make it your own.
- Start new rituals. Light a candle each evening for peace and reflection, have a movie marathon, bake cookies/pies with friends or your kids, go for a sunrise walk. In general, find and create traditions that speak to your soul.
- Let go of what doesn’t fit. Just because “we’ve always done it this way” doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it.
Honor Your Feelings
For some this period brings warmth and beautiful moments. For others, it's a reminder of what's missing. Holidays can be bittersweet—or downright difficult. Maybe you’re grieving a loss, navigating a breakup, or simply feeling isolated. Maybe finances are tight, and the festivities feel more like a burden than a joy. Whatever you’re feeling, it’s valid. You don't have to force your joy just because “it's the most wonderful time of the year.".
Take care of yourself in small ways:
- Journal your thoughts to release pent-up emotions.
- Take a walk in nature to clear your mind and reconnect with yourself.
- Treat yourself to something soothing—a cup of tea, a warm bath, or a favorite book.
Seek Connection in Your Own Way: Talk to someone you trust or to volunteer your time to help others. Even small connections can have deep meaning.
Gratitude for the Little Things: While it’s not about dismissing your pain, shifting your focus to what you do have—no matter how small—can bring a gentle sense of grounding. A roof over your head, the warmth of a pet’s companionship, or the beauty of a winter sunset can be sources of quiet comfort.
Permission to Simply Be: If all you can do this season is get through the day, that’s enough. You’re enough. Some seasons are about thriving, while others are about surviving—and both are valid and we all experience both at some point in life. Honor your journey, and trust that this moment, however difficult, is just one chapter of your story..
Laugh, Connect, and Disconnect (From Your Phone)
Holidays aren’t just about the “what”; they’re about the “who.” Prioritize connection over perfection.
- Organize relaxed gatherings. Think cozy clothes, comfort food, good company and good vibes.
- Put your phone down. Scrolling through everyone else’s “perfect” holiday can drain your joy. Take a break, go internet-lite, or set boundaries for your screen time. Replace the scroll with something nourishing, like journaling or quality time with loved ones.
- Prioritize fun. Whether it's game nights with friends, a live to listen to your favorite music, activities with your family, a night out to a dance or a dancing in your living room, find moments of pure, silly joy.
- Spread joy in small ways. Write a thank-you note, pay for someone’s coffee, or check in on a friend.
- Volunteer your time. Whether it’s helping at a food bank or visiting a neighbor, small acts of giving create big waves of positivity.
Connection is the heart of the holidays—nurture it.
Fill Your Space with Light (literally and figuratively)
Winter blues are real, but you can brighten things up—both in your environment and your mood. String up fairy lights, light a cozy candle, or invest in a sun lamp to chase away the dark. Bonus if you do it on the night of the winter solstice. Light a candle and reflect on the moments where darkness showed up– in yourself or in your environment. Light one more to honor the return of light and think about your intention or hope for the new year.This year the longest night will be on December 21.
Manage your expectations
Last but not least. Change your holiday mindset. Here’s the thing: Hallmark-level holidays are a myth. The perfectly decorated tree, the Instagram-worthy feast, the radiant smiles around the table—it’s all marketing. Real life? The turkey might be overcooked, the kids might fight over presents, and someone will probably forget to defrost the dessert.
Instead of striving for a Pinterest-perfect holiday, focus on what truly matters to you. Maybe that’s meaningful time with loved ones or simply surviving the season without pulling your hair out. Release the need for perfection and laugh at the chaos. Remember "when you stop chasing perfection, you make room for joy".The ones who love you don’t need Martha Stewart-level decorations, a 5-course meal or the perfect gift. They just need you. Not exhausted from spending all day in traffic or in the kitchen but calm, happy and most of all, present.