“Alcohol is the only drug you have to explain not taking.” – Anon
Let that sink in for a moment. Imagine the scenario: you politely decline a drink, and suddenly you're hit with a flurry of questions: Are you pregnant? Sick? On meds? Nope, Nope and nope. I’m just… done.
Just to be clear, I never had a problem with alcohol.We had a rather casual relationship for entertainment reasons. Drinking was just a part of my lifestyle: late nights, brunch with friends, or a glass of wine after a long day. Over time, however, the relationship became more...complicated. Hangovers became debilitating, stress suddenly added to my cast and body? It stopped coming back as easily.
Here’s the story of how I ended things with my favorite frenemy—and what I’ve gained since calling it quits.
The Breaking Point: When Three Beers Turned into a Wake-Up Call
The night it all became clear was unremarkable. Three beers with friends, home by midnight, and then—boom—awake at 4 a.m., heart pounding, anxiety spiraling, questioning every decision I’d made in the past 24 hours.
"What fresh hell is this?"
Turns out, there’s a science to the madness. Alcohol messes with your body’s stress hormones, leaving you frazzled and panicked long after the buzz wears off. Add that to the hangovers (which only got worse with age), and I started to ask myself: Is this even fun anymore?
Spoiler: It wasn’t.
So I decided to dig a little deeper and as it turned out, I opened Pandora's box. This was about what alcohol was doing to me. When I opened Pandora's box and started researching, what I found hit me like a train:
- Alcohol is a literal poison. From the moment it enters our system, our bodies work overtime to get rid of it.
- Women over 40 metabolize alcohol differently. Hello, slower metabolism, higher sensitivity, and hangovers that feel like death.
- The anxiety isn’t just in your head. Alcohol disrupts your nervous system and wrecks your ability to manage stress.
- And that “one glass of wine is good for your heart” myth? Yeah, it’s marketing—brilliant, but deceitful marketing. A complete lie.
You'd think after all that I'd cut it. Wrong! The truth is, I kind of didn't accept it. So it took me another year, a couple more sleepless nights, and a growing sense that alcohol wasn’t adding anything to my life anymore.
The Social Pressure Games
When I finally decided to go sober for a month, I didn’t expect the hardest part to be other people. Let me tell you—saying no to alcohol at a party is apparently as shocking as announcing you’re moving to Mars. People had opinions, and they were ready to share them.
- “Why aren’t you drinking?”
- “Just one won’t hurt!”
- “Oh, come on, don’t be boring.”
At first, I felt like I needed to defend myself, to justify my decision. But here’s what I learned: people’s discomfort with your choices often says more about them than you. They’re projecting their own struggles or insecurities. And guess what? I found that other people's opinions about my drinking habits (or generally) don't concern me.. Now, I keep it simple:
- “I feel better without it.”
- “I’m taking a break.”
- “I don’t drink anymore.”
No long explanations. No guilt. Just boundaries.
The Good Stuff: What I Gained When I Quit
- Welcome Back Standards. Missed you!
For years, I joked that after two drinks, I could have fun anywhere. (and with everyone). What happened was that: after two drinks, my standards left the room - "bye now, we leave you with your emotions and hormones running high - see you tomorrow when we'll be back together along the hyper analysis". When I quit, I started listening to my preferences again. Bars with bad music? No, thank you. Boring conversations? I’m out. Red flags: I see them. Bad energy? Bye. I stopped tolerating things that didn’t bring me joy, and guess what? I started having real fun in places I actually liked, with people I actually enjoyed being around sober. - Mornings without stress and full of energy even after a late night out
Gone were the 3 a.m. wake-ups, the racing heart, the shame spiral of "What did I say/do last night" or "What have I arranged with the stranger I made a friends of" because apart from everything else a couple of drinks turned me into an extroverted, I could arrange to go on holidays with someone and the other day I wanted to hide. Let alone after that I didn't want to go out again for a month. Waking up clear-headed and calm felt like a gift I’d been denying myself for years. - More meaningful relationships
Here’s the thing: when you make a big lifestyle change, you’ll see who’s truly in your corner and yes you will count some losses. And that's a gift. Cause in the end, you are only connected to some people by some habits or a certain lifestyle, and if that goes away, there’s only silence. And there are those who might feel judged or threatened by your choices—and that’s on them. But the people who matter? They’ll ride with you. And no, they don't have to embrace or make the same choice for themselves. I personally feel that my relationships have improved because I show up as fully and unapologetically myself in all circumstances,, And the best part? I started attracting people who aligned with my values and energy. - Way Better Sex (also mindful choices)
et’s be real: drunken sex is often clumsy and forgettable. At best. Sober sex? It’s a whole new level.It’s awkward at first—you’re hyper-aware of every sensation, every movement, every breath. But once you get used to it? Let’s just say it’s a game-changer. You’re present.You’re attuned to your partner. Plus, there are no regrets or fuzzy memories the next morning. Just to clarify, I am talking about the first times with a new partner. If you are in a relationship and need alcohol to have sex, something is wrong. So either start therapy or leave and find someone who will give you that spark while sober. Or both.
Thinking About Breaking Up with Alcohol? Here’s How to Start
Look, this isn’t about being perfect or swearing off drinks forever. It’s about asking yourself: Is alcohol adding to my life—or taking away from it?
If you’re curious about what life could look like without booze, try this:
- Take a break: Start with a month. No pressure, no labels. Just see how you feel. But make sure it's a month that you actually have a social life otherwise it won't really be a challenge.
- Explore Alternatives:Swap your usual drink for sparkling water, kombucha, or a fancy mocktail. You’ll still feel festive without the side effects.
- Find Your “Why”: Write down your reasons for quitting. Whether it’s anxiety, health, or just wanting to feel better, your “why” will keep you grounded.
- Pay attention to the changes that will happen: Notice the little things: better sleep, clearer skin, weight loss, more meaningful conversations, more energy. Write them down and celebrate.
- Set and Enforce Boundaries:Be ready for questions. Practice a few go-to responses and don’t feel obligated to explain yourself.
- Get informed and inspired There are many celebrities who, without having a problem, consciously choose sobriety, and more and more scientists that are speaking clearly about the ONLY negative effects that alcohol has on our body and psychology. For some extra inspo, you check out the book "Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol"An unflinching examination of how our drinking culture hurts women and a gorgeous memoir of how one woman healed herself.
The Unexpected Joy of Sobriety
I already shared with you that this all started as a one-month experiment. Many have passed since then and although I hate being absolute I do not see myself returning. I don’t even want that. What I didn't share is when I started this process a part of me was feeling sad. Sad because I would have to leave behind another version of me. Because I thought that I would be deprived of something and that despite the fact that for the last couple of years it was obvious that it had a bad next day effect on me (how absurd). I also felt uncomfortable and nervous. Cause, among other things, I hadn’t been on a first date sober since I was a teenager. Today I am here to tell you that it wasn't deprivation at all - it was liberation. It gave me back my mornings, my mental clarity, my wonderful high standard and my sense of self.
If you’re curious about what life could look like without alcohol, consider this your sign to give it a try. You don’t have to label yourself or make it permanent. Just see what happens when you stop numbing and start being present and feeling 100%.
Who knows? You might just fall in love with the person you meet on the other side.